Thank for all of the comments on my April Fool's Day hoax!
Some of my favorite identifications for this nasty looking 'parasite' are:
a "baby alien," "giant Ancylostoma duodenale" from a Sci Fi movie, and a "radiated tardigrade" (if you don't know what a tardigrade is, you should definitely look it up because they're really cool)
So the real answer is that this little guy is made out of clay. You can buy him (and his kin) at:
I put him in water with food coloring.