Answer to Parasite Case of the Week 568: Pseudoscorpion or false scorporion, not a human parasite.
This fun little arthropod is occasionally submitted to the clinical laboratory for identification, and may be mistaken as a true scorpion. While both scorpions and pseudoscorpions are arachnids, pseudoscorpions are very small (1 cm or less in length) and lack a tail with a stinger. As sylvie g and Santiago note, pseudoscorpions can occasionally be found in the house, but they don't bite or sting humans, and instead feed on other small arthropods such as booklice.
Thanks again to Old One and his son for the donation of the cool animated illustration.